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Reaching more than 33,000 subscribers in 106 countries, this is... HeroicStories #233: 10 September 2001 www.HeroicStories.com Strangers at a Rave by The College Student California, USA Story Editor: Joyce Schowalter I have a group of college friends who go to "raves" about once a month. Raves, if you are not familiar with them, are huge all-night parties, often held in abandoned warehouses. Their attendees are known for taking psychedelic drugs -- particularly the drug "Ecstasy" (MDMA). Because of the illegal drugs used at raves, most people do not consider ravers a desirable segment of society, even though not all ravers use drugs. Recently, four of my friends attended a rave two hours' drive away. While there, they met a group of three high school girls. The girls had been driven to the rave by two guys they hardly knew -- and the guys had disappeared just after arriving. The girls and my friends were "rolling" on Ecstasy. Around 5:00 a.m. the party was winding down. "Matt" was the designated driver for my friends, having taken the drug earlier to be sober in time to drive home. He wanted to leave. However, the three girls were frantic. They'd tracked down the two guys who had driven them there and neither guy was even slightly fit to drive. Both were completely incoherent and could hardly walk. Only one girl had a driver's license, but she was still rolling and in no shape to drive. They decided that my friend "Dan" would drive the second car, with the boys and two girls as passengers, and one girl in Matt's car. The drive home turned into a nightmare. One of the two drugged boys wet himself, and the other soiled himself. Then one began projectile vomiting all over the car. Their condition was extremely bad, and Dan felt that they needed medical attention. After dropping the girls at home, my friends conferred about the guys. There was risk in accompanying the boys to the hospital. What if the doctors called the police? Emergency medical personnel are all too familiar with these scenarios -- they wouldn't be fooled. With the boys unimproved, my friends decided it was more important to take them to the emergency room. They waited at the hospital from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m., when a doctor pronounced the boys not likely to die. My four friends then drove the boys and their car home. It would have been easy for my friends to dismiss the boys and the high school girls that night -- because they'd caused their own problems, or because they had only met them a few hours before. In using "recreational" drugs, my friends may show lack of judgment and disregard the damage done to their bodies, but, when given a choice, none of them considered leaving behind people in serious trouble. They spent hours and took a risk to make sure that all five strangers made it to safety that night. I only hope that if I ever have to choose between the safety of others and my own convenience that I make the same choice. Yes, we know this story is controversial, it's controversial in our eyes, too. Why would we run it? To face this issue versus run from it, to create discussion, to show adults how some kids look at these issues. I was quite blunt with the author when this story was submitted -- that if it ran, I would immediately list reasons to not take Ecstasy. The author replied: "I think including links about the dangers of Ecstasy is a good idea. Although no one is entirely sure of the long-term effects, it most certainly messes with seratonin receptors in your brain. For me, knowing about the boys' horrific ordeal reinforces my decision to not do any more drugs. I don't think that ignoring drug use by young people is an effective way of preventing further drug use. I do think that someone who chooses to use drugs (including alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine) should be aware of the risks." Of course, one of the great dangers with any illegal drug is that the sellers may have packaged up a different drug -- such as rat poison. Scientific American charts percentages of US students who've used this drug: 2.7 percent of 8th graders (age 13 to 14), 6 percent of 10th graders, and 8 percent of 12th graders. Acting Customs Commissioner Charles Winwood recently told Congress: "Ecstasy use has spread to bars, college campuses, high schools and junior high schools across the country. What began primarily as an urban threat has now become a national crisis" College age is WAY too late to discuss this drug -- or any other drug. URLs for facts about Ecstasy and its dangers Slide show describing basic effects/potential damage of MDMA (Ecstasy):   http://dancesafe.org/slideshow General (including articles) (Search for "Ecstasy" from these sites):   http://www.nida.nih.gov/DrugPages/MDMA.html   http://www.drugfreeamerica.org Ecstasy FAQ (more geared for kids -- from Dr. Drew):   http://www.drdrew.com/Topics/article.asp?id=690 Prevention efforts:   http://www.health.org/govpubs/prevalert/v3i25.htm I solicited reaction to this story (before editing it) from our HeroTalk readers. Some liked it, some did not. Debbie in New Zealand wrote: "I'm a decidedly anti-drug person. Yes, I'd have judged them part of the problem before the episode began. However, I think you should run the story. It was 'wrong' of them to choose to take drugs and go to raves, but even in the midst of such 'wrong' action, they still displayed the kind of everyday heroism we read of here. They wouldn't leave perfect strangers behind in a bad situation. Just because the people involved were recreationally participating in an illegal activity, should that prevent the heroism from being told? I don't think so." Janet in Wyoming wrote: "I'm too old and conservative to approve of drug use, all-night partying, and accepting rides to and from abandoned warehouses with virtual strangers. And one thing really bothered me: Matt's role as 'designated driver', despite the fact that 'all [my own emphasis] of my friends were "rolling" on ecstasy.' I appreciate their realization that a designated driver is a good idea, but I'm dismayed that they think a person doing Ecstasy is an appropriate choice." Leo in Washington: "This discussion speaks to exactly what the unspoken boundaries of HeroicStories are, rather than 'Is this a heroic story?'. I think this story is outside those bounds because throughout the story there is an implied acceptance of a dangerous, not to mention illegal, activity. I think that the 'story', even the setting, is worthy of publication, but I have a hard time because it treats the drug use so matter-of-factly." Paulette in Massachusetts wrote: "My nephew was at a fraternity party in college and died from alcohol poisoning from something very similar to what happened in this story." Indeed -- not only illegal drugs are dangerous. Lisa in Maryland wrote that she "would hate for my 15-year-old daughter to have read [this story!]...too scary for a parent to condone." Eight minutes later she wrote back that she'd sent the story to her daughter to get her reaction. Rachel in California wrote: "It's difficult to find literature that would speak to a kid. Teenagers don't worry about brain damage, birth defects, or death, because they think they are invulnerable. I think with Ecstasy, it's an image thing more than anything else. Kind of like clothing trends. Everyone else is doing it, why shouldn't I?" Debbie in Colorado wrote: "The goal of HS is to bring diverse stories of people helping people, despite the view of that person in society. The concern here is that Ecstasy is an illegal drug. Its effects on the body are harmful and even life-threatening, and it also impairs judgment. People are worried that some teenager will see the story and say 'See, drugs are good.' I'd like to say from a teen's perspective that that is ridiculous. Give us more credit than that! This could even deter some people who are thinking of drug use, because of the intense descriptions of impairment and illness." Brian in Pennsylvania commented: "If we don't expose our children to what is out in the real world, then offer our version of the ethics and judgment of a particular situation, how can we expect them to make decisions when it counts? I do not support the use of drugs, but it is a big part of the general culture today. I'm sure when this gets published, my daughter will come to me so we can talk about it. This happens with many of stories that are published and it makes for a wonderful way to impart my feelings and ethics without being dogmatic." Would I show this story to my 13-year-old stepson? Absolutely. Sooner or later someone will offer him drugs. No doubt someday someone will ask him to attend a Rave. I'd show it to him because in this story I see teens accepting rides from near strangers and being stranded at a party. I see teens being really uncool, losing body control due to drugs. And finally drugs nearly killing two kids. I'd like him to know about those things. Now. Versus discovering them first-hand. I've talked to him about why I don't want him to smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol since he was three. I've been talking to him about the responsibilities he'll have when his body is very interested in girls since he was eight. This story can kick off a conversation between parent and child: "What do you think about the choices these kids made? Do you think the girls were smart to go with those boys? If so, why? What age would you think was too young to do that? Old enough? Under other circumstances do you think those boys would have died? Do kids ever really die from taking drugs like this?" I believe fervently that the most important thing for me to do after asking those questions is to listen. Then ask other questions about his answers. Only after that, to add in my views. I believe my listening is more important than a "lecture" -- for if I'm not willing to listen to him, to sincerely try to discover his views, why would he listen to me? Other kids will be talking -- and listening with interest -- to the kids in *your* life about Ecstasy. Why not add your voice -- and your ears? If we as adults cut off all lines of communication to and from kids about drugs -- where will we be? Rather, where will they be? Joyce Schowalter, Editor in Chief Co-Conspirator to Make the World a Better Place

"Did you run the Rave story to promote drug use!?" many readers asked us. No we did not, we ran it to warn people of the dangers of drug use. Actually, some readers were a tad more blunt.

Carol in Colorado:

Personally, I think real heroism would be in avoiding a volatile situation like that in the first place, avoiding all substances harmful to your body, and avoiding any 'friends' that would convince you to do otherwise. I succeeded at this as a teen, my four children managed it it, and so are thousands of others. This story showed layer upon layer of stupidity beyond anything I would expect of the intelligent teenagers I love and work with.

W.L. in Oklahoma:

This is a first for me. I usually enjoy HeroicStories. Yes, I agree that it is a useful story to start a conversation with children about drugs. However, I told my son, who also gets HeroicStories, that I did not think this was a very Heroic Story. He asked me why and I told him that he could read it and then we would talk about it. I notice also in the comments that followed the story that none referred to the people in the story as heroes. They focused on the drug. Again, it is a good story for getting a conversation about drugs, but a heroic story? I think not.

Did any of our readers get the point? Before the issue ran, we said to each other: "If one person talks to their child because of this story, running it will be worth it." Many people did in fact write to say they'd use the story to communicate with their children.

Peggy in Tennesee:

Thank you for having the courage to print a heroic story on a controversial topic. I have a 14-year-old granddaughter who has friends who have taken Ecstasy, and although she tells me she is not involved with drugs 'because it's stupid', she has not had the maturity to recognize the dangers of hanging around with others who do drugs. Consequently, last February, she was at a party and let someone bring her a soft drink; she didn't know they had spiked it with various drugs. She ended up in the hospital and unconscious for two days, and she is still so typically adolescent in her 'invulnerability' that it has taken quite a few conversations to convince her that she could have died. She did have the good judgment to stay away from those 'friends' after that, but you can be sure I will be reinforcing the message with your story. Thank you for your heroic action.

Brad in Arizona:

I am one of the most anti-drug people you will ever find and, I admit, my first reaction to this story was not the greatest. I do find it very disturbing that drug use here is accepted and treated as 'normal'. Being the father of two young girls, I was horrified that there were high-school-age girls at this party and, although I doubt the parents knew they were taking Ecstasy, they certainly knew they were out until all hours of the morning.

Amanda in Illinois:

I don't have children yet and am not close to any young people that may run into this situation, but I am saving this story in the event that I do have children some day or run into a situation where I am a role model for a younger person. This is the best example I've ever seen for how to introduce the topic of drugs to children and how to talk to younger people about drugs. We're very often told (by various media) to talk to our children about drugs; however, I really haven't seen anything on how to broach the topic or what kinds of things to say.

Bill in Colorado:

Kudos on running the story. I don't see why it should be controversial at all. The point of HeroicStories is to report heroic behavior, not make judgements about how the heroes got into their unpleasant situation in the first place. After all, most opportunities for heroic acts occur because someone exercised poor judgement -- that's beside the point of HeroicStories."

Heather in California:

I applaud you for sending out 'Strangers at a Rave' and encourage other readers to use it to talk to their kids. As a Resident Advisor in a college dormitory, I deal with the aftermath of similar situations more times than I care to, though once is enough. It truly shocks me how many kids I get each year (this is my third year as a RA) who have never had discussions about drinking or drugs with their parents, so when they are exposed to such situations in the dorms or frat houses they cave in to peer pressure. Then I find students passed out in the hallways and bathrooms in their own vomit, or have young girls come to me in tears because they were a victim of rape or assault while high on drugs or alcohol. I urge all the parents out there to use every opportunity such as this to talk with their children, because as high school and college students they will be given opportunities to use drugs. I was first offered drugs at 14 years old in high school, and now at 25 the offers are still coming.

Lillian in West Virginia:

I will show this story to my 13-year-old 8th-grade son. I've had repeated conversations with him about the choices he'll be faced with the older he gets. The use of drugs is, to me, the most important choice. I think that stories from other teens are the most impactful. I know in his hormonal-loaded brain he, too, is thinking 'It wouldn't happen to me.' And my response to him is 'Yeah, but what if it did?' Thank you for having the courage to print this story.

Thank you, Lillian -- and that's one lucky son you've got there.

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